Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Electric Feel

Written on 4-4-11

Sitting alone. Almost naked. Fitting; stripping away my supports seems to be what is a reoccurring theme within my college life. No parties. No ‘great’ bunch of new friends. Nothing I expected.
Everything is changing and I’m caught in  the Electric Feel; and I want to stay there. Delving deeper into the mystic nonsense I worked so hard to cultivate with in myself and others...but I feel alone in my quest. I am not addled with substances. I am well read. I am well spoken. Refined and surprisingly cultured for one of my age- but I am an eccentric; a complete freak. A weirdo. A misfit. A creature of stunning and over-powering beauty and depth...
Everyone is growing up and settling into the singular dimension required to lead a ‘productive’ and ‘acceptable’ life; all this while I create things that no one needs, but seemingly, everyone wants. I make toys and things to spur the imagination. I want to make time capsules to make everyone remember WHY, WHERE, HOW, WHO and WHEN.
I feel cut off from the reality that my peers create. I want no part of their madness. They are making a beige nightmare. I want a technicolor-ed blaze of glory....
What has gone wrong?

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